tmlforsyth

Politics post

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:47:13 GMT

I haven't talked as much about politics lately or about anything, but last week, a major event occurred. A Republican won Ted Kennedy's old Senate seat. The only thing is, Republicans should not get too optimistic for a few reasons:

Martha Coakley ran a negative campaign smearing Brown unfairly. Peopel get sick of that.

The election was a special election in January. I suspect many Massachusetts schools were not back in session, so a lot of strongly Democratic votes were not voting. I suspect Scott Brown will be a two year wonder, though November 2012 will decide that choice.

Will the results be certified? If the Democrats block his certification, that will appear petty and vindictive. Bad move when history doesn't favor the Democratic party in November's midterm election.

Now I predict the Republicans will make gains in November, but not large ones, and they ned something to offer and offer something fiscally conservative that is genuine. They win for being the opposition, but they need to offer more than just opposition.

Now, let's hope history is defied again tonight, and the Saints beat those Vikings. Who Dat! Who Dat! Who Dat gonna beat dem Saints?

Back to school

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:51:26 GMT

Next week will my first day back in school for a while. Last time I went, Hurricane Katrina struck. Hopefully, The Day After Tomorrow movie won't come true.

On much better news, my bill has been deferred since I will be getting the GI Bill. Makes life better.

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:50:32 GMT

A new year has begun. In fact, a new decade. The aughts are over. Some things change and some things stay the same. Some things go in 180 degrees, too.

I can do my decade recap as that is popular or it was until I did it :)

2000- I am finishing my last year in Loyola. In May, I decide to join the Army, but only after I have graduated. I graduate in December and enjoy a month of until I head to Basic Training. I have also reunited with my father after two years of not speaking. I then move in with him, as my mother is none too pleased with my choice.

This is also the last year I attended a Gathering.

2001- After enjoying a free January I am off to Ft Sill, OK for Basic Training. The beginning was hell. I was overweight and in poor shape, but I lose over 20 lbs. I did not graduate with anything grandiose, but my Common Task Testing was above average and I got along with everyone in Basic Training. Those were fond days.

My next training was in Ft Jackson, SC to be a Finance soldier, and I am selected as class leader because I outrank the rest of my classmates. The classwork is not a struggle, but the situps are. I just barely pass, but I graduated and am off to my next step.Sadly, I learn my beloved cat Attila died, and I still miss him.

Ft Benning, GA is where I try and don't make Airborne school. It is for the best as I would have been stuck in Fayetteville, NC. I also meet Heather and we have a brief relationship for the next few months, though to do this, I betray a friend, and burn bridges with a few more.

Shortly after turning 24, I arrive in Germany which will be duty station for the next two years. I briefly go back to see Heather in December, but I learn nott o take leave during Christmas, especially if you are overseas. Taking leave during vacation time merely uses up leave days. It is not efficient.

And let us not forget the biggest event this year. September 11, 2001. America is attacked, and is united for at least a few months. I was at work in the afternoon, since I was in Germany, and I hear that a plane hit the WTC. We turn to the news and see the second plane hit, followed by the towers collapsing, the Pentagon being hit, and a final plane crashes in rural Pennsylvania. I expect more attacks, but instead see the outpouring of sympathy from most of the world, while many vile people celebrate. May we always remember where tragedy was applauded and consider that in giving out aid.

As for the goodwill, save it until we responded appropriately. America was caught undefended, which is a very expensive lesson we have not fully learned from.

2002- A somber year. I learn my job in Germany and take a few vacations. While my relationship with Heather ends, I start a new one with a dental assistant and fellow soldier, Rachael. This is one I remember because I lose my virginity a few months before I turn 25, and it takes me a year to dispel all of my guilt from doing that. The relationship is short-lived, too. There is a lesson here for me to learn.

I also do some traveling to Istanbul, Florence, Koln (Cologne), and Pisa. I get to see the Hagia Sophia, which I have wanted to see for half my life.

I also have my first deployment. In October I am off to Kosovo, which proves a good deployment. I spend nine months deployed in Kosovo, and it was a good time except for some issues over climate control in my bedroom and six day workweeks. Still a good time in retrospect, and I excel in my job.

2003- I spend my first New Year in a Combat Zone. It wasn't a bad one except I had to work that day. I had it better than many there, so I have no room to complain. I also get to enjoy Bulgaria, and a bit more of Germany when I return form Kosovo, but only for another three weeks. My next assignment is Korea,but I take some leave and meet a few friends, along with starting another relationship that lasts for a few years.

As I fly out of Germany, I spend 24 hours in travel until I meet my friend Meredith in London, Ontario. This is my first trip to Canada. To be even more adventurous, I spend a week in western Newfoundland and meet Karen. It was a good trip. My next stop is Rochester to visit Budclare,which had a comedy of errors as I arrive in the morning and she had to wait hours for me to never show up. I am sorry about that. I then spend ten days in NYC, where I become close friends with A Fan, and I travel to all five boroughs. This was a trip that started my love of NYC and led me to move here six years later. Final trip is New Orleans where I see my family for ten days, before heading off to Korea.

Now, in late September of 2003, I am in Camp Humphreys, Korea. Two hours south of Seoul. The next year and a half prove valuable as I learn to be more cautious with my trust, but I have now been to Asia and I get to experience a new culture and eat dog :)

2004- I spend the full year in Korea and meet one of the sleaziest people I will ever meet. He is charismatic and without any values, though he helps me get in better shape, but probably so he can laugh at me while I struggle. He was alter busted for selling drugs in uniform so he got what he had coming.

There are many highlights, including more trustworthy friends and I travel to Singapore. I also see Karen again and am in a relationship with her. I travel to St.John's and venture to Cape Spear the Easternmost point in North America. I also spend my first shabbos dinner with A Fan's family right before I head up to Canada,and I get to see Ottawa.

My religious faith slacks off as I get too lazy to go to Mass, but I still practice for now.

2005- I am out. I leave Korea in early January, and spend a week in New Orleans. Next step is Newfoundland where I spend over a month with Karen and propose to her on Ayn Rand's birthday. My time with her is capped off with a weekend in Toronto and a bus ride to Utica, NY where I spend a few months reintegrating into civilian life with grad school plans.

Sadly these plans fail, and I move back to NO to get a Masters at UNO, but before that starts, I spend three weeks in Newfoundland where Karen dumps me six months after we are engaged. Back in May, I broke with my Catholic faith after John Paul II died, so this is a transitioning point for me. Also, a week after grad school, Katrina hits and I am a refugee. That miserable saga ends in Broward County, Florida, where I go back into the Army, making 2005 end as it began, with me as a soldier.

2006- I spend the year in Ft Hood, TX, though I take a few trips to NYC, which were wonderful. I lose friends by being a jerk and posting a veyr nasty, bigoted, francophobic screed about their Revolution, which also reveals my immense ignorance about actual events. I learn from it, but the damage is done. I shoudl know better than to be that way at 29 years old.

This is also a year of changes as I decide to convert to Judaism at the end of this year.

2007- A year of changes and reflection. I enjoy three weeks in NYC, and even venture to New Jersey. The rest of the year is followed by preparing for a deployment first to Kuwait and then changed to Iraq. It is a stressful time especially when a new Detachment Sergeant comes in and tries to shake everything up. He's a hard charging bully, but I guess effective as I did ok in Iraq, but most of the tactical training was never used. My time in Iraq proved better than my time preparing.

2008- I was in Iraq and I had fun with collecting on bad checks to maintaining lines of accounting. I visited Jennifer in MS on R&R leave and had a great time. I also learned I have Aspergers Syndrome which explains but does not excuse a lot of my weird behavior.

2009- I leave Iraq and prepare to get out the Army, but I sign up for a year with the NY National Guard. I am not employed after I get out, but I live within my means so I can increase my savings and act sensibly. I join the American Legion and they process my disability claims. As of now, I am 60% disabled,which is helpful for VA benefits. The VA covers my health-care, and I apply to grad school. My religious conversion plans are suspended for now, but that may change in the future. My disability rating will not allow me to re-enlist with the Guard, but it will help me as I adjust to civilian life. I end the year and decade ready for new challenges and the next chapter in my life.

I also have the Aspergers corroborated by my Psychiatrist. Now I need to know how to live with it and be more aware of it.

Play review

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:07:02 GMT

The last two days, I saw a movie and a play. The movie was an advanced screening of "Up in the Air" which is not out yet, so I will wait on review there, but the play I saw was "God Bless You Mister Scrooge", a Christmas Carol story done from a pro-Scrooge viewpoint.

The play itself was in La Tea Theater on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, an area that has a gritty, but realistic atmosphere, though there were roving gangs of hipsters about, and they can threaten both authenticity of a neighborhood and affordable prices.

You can reach the theater by taking the F train to the Delancey-Essex stop, and once at the corner you walk on Delancey for two blocks and take a left at Suffolk. The address is 107 Suffolk St. and it is on the second floor of the building, an old public school.

The play itself is a serious play, but it also has some very funny moments, especially when you catch the subtle variations with A Christmas Carol. It is a defense of Ebeneezer Scrooge as an honest free market individual. While it shows him to be anti-social and lacking merriment, it also says, "So what?" He does a job that people value, which is how he became wealthy. He is not a merry or generous soul, but an honest bookkeeper, who makes his payments on time and also expects his money on time as well.

The ghostly visits are the same, only Scrooge learns differently from them, and while he does not become a generous and kindly figure, he takes on a different path,but you will need to see the play to see that :) I will try to avoid spoilers.

For Manhattan, where radicalism has become a safe and trendy brand, this play is truly radical. I am not the ardent and absolute free marketeer I used to be, but I do love the philosophy, and believe that before any wealth can be redistributed, it must be created first.

Scrooge may have been a grouch, which was his right, but he never lobbied Parliament or the Crown to make and expand his fortune. He may not have Bob Cratchit a "living wage", but he paid him what he earned. Instead, a kinder approach is to allow Cratchit opportunities to use and his improve his skills to be more productive and earn a greater wage.

The playwright Janet Hopf made a very good play. Her program explains her exact message, and such can be seen at her production. I will plug the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/New-York-NY/God-Bless-You-Mister-Scrooge/204506835782?ref=ts>facebook link</a>and give some detail to any NYC readers of mine. "If I could see it, I'm sure I'd love it!" Ayn R. Tickets available at theatermania.com or by calling 866-811-4111 First performance is Saturday night for an off-off-Broadway treat. I received free tickets to a final dress rehearsal courtesy of the USO, so I also want to thank Janet Hopf for inviting the troops to a free showing.

Happy Belated Birthday

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:30:03 GMT

I need to start posting again. For now, I wish Kathy Pogge a happy belated birthday.

No shit, Joe. They're the opposition

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:16:44 GMT

So Joe Trippi, Howard Dean's advisor claims Republicans are gunning for Obama. Well, duh! The party in opposition will always be after the incumbent. Howard Dean did that as DNC Chair, and was successful. Yaar!!

President Obama won hands sown, but some changes he does at his own risk. Remember, you were elected, because McCain blew it and people are pissed at Bush. Heath care cost Clinton his majority in 1994. Maybe times have chnaged, but history is a good teacher.

Now, as for Van Jones, good riddance to him, but I'm disappointed at Obama's lack of creativity. Ron Brown causes potential scandal and dies in a plane crash. You're a Chicago politician. Didn't they teach you about convenient accidents when you were an Illinois Senator :)

Mandated circumcision? Good!

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:33:22 GMT

Well, the CDC may recommend circumcision for all male babies, now. This is excellent. I do think a study should be done if a mohel is less painful than medical circumcision. I also think medicaid should cover male circumcision. In fact, I'd review custody of any parent who had a problem with circumcising their son. The foreskin almost seems designed to be cut off.

Those who want to protest circumcision are small minded savages. The fact that so many developed nations leave their males uncircumcised is a massive tragedy and seems so horribly unsanitary.

I applaud President Obama if he is behind the CDC's decision, and I'll still disagree with him on plenty of issues, plus I am at best tepid of a public option, but I am all for male circumcision. It ranks up there with immunizations.

Now, CDC what are you waiting for? If one male in America is uncircumcised, that is one too many, IMO. Will it cause promiscuity? I doubt it.

I just don't havethe spirit to be meaner

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:46:13 GMT

It feels a bit anti-climatic. Ever since I was politically aware, I loved to bash Ted Kennedy, but I don't feel any great malicious joy at his death. Potshots yes, but that is about it.This change for the state of Massachusetts I can't give President Obama credit for :)

My prediction on successor will be his widow, Barney Frank, or in a weird twist of fate, Mitt Romney. The tragedy of the Kennedy could be best looked at in The Godfather. Imagine what would become of the Corleone family if Fredo became the Don, because that is what happened to Camelot.

He also had forty more years of life than Mary Jo Kopecne.

I figured this would be a much more mean-spirited post, filled with a lot more malice, but I can now avoid all the tributes bandied about, but I hope Jon Stewart gives a tribute in his snarkiest manner.

New Justice in the White House

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:39:26 GMT

The US Supreme Court will soon be down to one WASP, dinosaur Justcie John Paul Stevens, as Sonia Sotomayor was confirmed by the Senate 68-31.

To be honest, I didn't find anything extremely activist about her, though she would probably be well to the left of me, but so are lots of people. She also replaces David Souter, so it will be no shift in Court rulings, unless she proves to be a Felix Frankfurter.

Ted Kennedy didn't vote, and him unable to vote is always a good thing.

Now, the question is when does John Paul Stevens retire? Why is he waiting? Will President Obama appoint Robert Byrd, just so he can make a third appointment in his first term :)

Now who are the unique GOP Senators who voted for Sotomayor?

Lamar Alexander (TN), Kit Bond (MO), Susan Collins (ME), Lindsey Graham (SC), Judd Gregg (NH), Richard Lugar (IN), Mel Martinez (FL), Olympia Snowe (ME) and George Voinovich (OH).

Is this good or bad? Let' see what decision she'll make. As for her leadership on the Court, she's the most junior member, though the most senior Court member is likely to be the next one to step down. This is definitely a New York Court. Scalia from Queens, Ginsberg from Brooklyn, and now Sotomayor from Da Bronx. I guess you could count Alito from New Jersey as well.

Icon of the 80s

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 00:28:20 GMT

Even though I was too young to really appreciate certain 80s movies, I re-watched them in my mid twenties and I must say that I will miss him, and will later watch one of the ultimate compliments to his work, Not Another Teen Movie.

Thomas gets older

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 00:21:31 GMT

I am 32; now where's my cane? Maybe I've reached the age where I can flirt like Happosai and it's considered cute, sort of like how old Reverend Attila hit on every girl in the TGS CR.

a writer to promote

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:42:18 GMT

I met a freelance writer during Purim and she's pretty funny. She has written a few things both funny and serious, but without further ado, I'll plug some of her works:

Aliza "La Jewminicana" Hausman

http://www.alizahausman.net/
http://www.aish.com/jw/s/50930757.html

Good riddance, east Side WASP

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:59:32 GMT

First Philadelphia pool denies access to black children who paid to use their pool. Dr. Henry Gates is arrested by Boston's finest, and now Carolyn Maloney uses racial slurs.

NY Daily News gives her such an unflattering picture, and the n-word is not normally a slur aimed at Puerto Ricans, it is aimed at black people. Hopefully someone less WASPy will take her House Seat. Buh bye you Orange hag.

So treason is ok?

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 22:45:45 GMT

Now, I speak as someone who more often than not will disagree with Obama. I think hist stimulus failed, and I think he is stabbing Israel in the back. However, I spent eight years in Active Duty and he was mu Commander in Chief for the last few months. If given a lawful order, I am obligated to carry out that order. It doesn't matter who gives it or what I think of the President.

Now, in California, a Field grade Officer refuses to do his duty. He claims not to recognize President Obama's legal authority. Well, if he felt that way, he should have resigned his commission after election day, and shown some integrity. Instead Major Stefan Cook wants to challenge deployment orders while receiving all the benefits of being a field grade Officer in the US Army, while ducking a deployment. He has no more purpose to the US Army, and should be court-martialed for treason. Once convicted, a bullet to the back of his neck will show what happens to traitors, and President Obama gets 20 cool points if he fires the weapon.

Unfortunately, the Obama Administration acquiesced. I wonder why. The decision not to bring these guys to court martial for treason is a sign of weakness and it gives credence to their argument. While Keith Olbermann may act a a hired gun for the Administration, President Obama needs to act and challenge this attack. Someone receiving good salary and benefits is refusing to do their job. They need to be fired, only this is the Army and they need a much more severe punishment. Where is Robert Gates to comment, too? An attack unanswered is an attack affirmed.

Now to be completely mean-spirited

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:16:00 GMT

California is now just a little safer for small boys. Born poor and black to an abusive, exploitative father, Michale Jackson delighted audiences as a kid, only he never grew up. Instead he became white and wore one glove while operating Neverland Ranch, touching the hearts and who knows what else of small boys. His music was great, but he turned into a wacko, as wealth and success unhinged him from reality. Now, he's dead, but let's see if people dispute the death and Tabloids talk of Michael Jackson sightings, like with Elvis.

Ah Hah!!

odd thought

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:54:48 GMT

I have noticed that in letters addressed to the US Senate, the Senator is addressed as The Honorable. Because this is the United States, perhaps Senators should be addressed as "The Dishonorable" :)

With all the grim news right now, perhaps time for a cheap shot at our elected officials is needed.

I guess this is a good thing

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:28:41 GMT

The loathsome and disgusting indy-propagandist Ted Rall has called for President Obama to resign. Now I'm sure to have many disagreements with the Obama administration, but if you are pissing off Ted Rall, good job!!

And to those who are disappointed that Obama isn't keeping promises, remember one thing: He's a Chicago politician!!!!

Sotomayor round up

Sun, 31 May 2009 05:15:10 GMT

I figured I would add some other commentaries about the Sotomayor decision.

First is a run down of the Senate Judiciary Committe, featuring a right-wing troll from Alabama, and a partisan, sanctimonious jackass from Vermont.

While I normally am very fond of David Brooks, I find this article offensive. It is a nasty slam against people who are not cursed with the corrupting force of empathy. Sure, some folks who lack empathy may be sociopaths, but lack of empathy is not a lack of conscience. Many people with autism lack empathy and those who are highly functional would make extremely good judges. The demon of empathy is more dangerous than a bribe, because a tug on the heartstrings is worse to the rule of law than any bribe, as it allows bias to overshadow what the law should state, and there are laws to fight bribery. The law is not about morality of fairness. It is the law. If a law is unfair or evil, the legislator should change it, not a Court decision. The fact that we are human and our Supreme Court have corruptible hearts instead of Judge Dredd ideals is one of many problems with America.

David Brooks is normally a guy I like, but his comments here I completely disagree with.

Now, I find some other interesting stuff about Sotomayor in this article and this one makes for an interesting counter argument about impartiality vs empathy.Maybe Judge Sotomayor is more Judge Dredd than Emily Empathy, or at least I hope so.

Ed Rollins, a very intelligent Republican strategist offers some wise counsel to the Senate GOP, but they will ignore it no doubt.G. Gordon Liddy goes on to make a dumb, sexist comment and I expect better of a man who had the fortitude to endure prison for his principles, whether you are with them or not.

Now on to her history:

In 1992,she was appointed as a District Court Judge for Southern NY, a Bush appointee (albeit in a deal brokered by Moynihan and liberal Republican Al D'Amato), and in 1998, a Clinton appointee to the 2nd District Court of Appeals. When Sandra Day O'Connor retired, Senate Democrats suggested her to George W Bush, though one can debate how much meaning can be derived out of that endorsement.

I am not overly fond of Obama looking at Earl Warren as a role model for SC Justice (though I would back him on Brown vs Board of Education) or his empathy speech, but he's replacing Souter which gives him leeway. The same is true of Ginsberg and Stevens, though I hope he replaces Stevens with Alan Dershowtiz, a very brilliant but combative Harvard Law Professor, who would make the Supreme Court WASP free (currently there are five Catholics, two Jews, and two old WASPs with withered stingers) and soon one WASP will be replaced. Stevens is next as he will be ninety next year. Now, if anything happens to Scalia, President Obama would be wise to find the most hopeful Republican Presidential candidate and appoint him or her as a Machiavellian move, just as he appointed Utah's centrist Governor Ambassador to China.

On the other hand, President Obama could test his popularity by appointing Blagoyevich or Burris to something of significance. In the name of Science, Sec of State Hillary Clinton can be sent as a goodwill Ambassador on a deep space probe :)

Now on to controversy

Thu, 28 May 2009 13:16:38 GMT

Well, for the uninformed, David Souter is retiring from the Supreme Court and President Obama gets to nominate a Justice. Something Clinton did not do in his second term, nor Bush in his first term. While I doubt his choice will face any real opposition, his pick concerns me, but so did his talk of judges with empathy. I don't want judges beholden to the demon of empathy, but judges who abide by the Constitution.

Now, a fellow at the CATO Institute, an organization I heavily agree with, speaks out.

I recall she made a comment about the Constitution as an evolving document, which is way too Brennanesque for my comfort. Ideologically, she replaces a liberal Justice so no shift in balance, but regardless of right or left, I want a Judge who is beholden to the Constitution as a static document, which can only be adjusted by a Constitutional amendment, not a Judge's empathy.

Of course she will be confirmed with no problem, but how will she rule?

Moving out

Thu, 21 May 2009 18:24:23 GMT

I have now moved out of my old apartment completely. Tomorrow, I can do a final clean up and turn the keys back in to my roommate along with a forwarding address. I am now in Kew Gardens Hills. I am also now the Historian for my American Legion Chapter, which is funny as I am the youngest guy there, but I guess fitting.

Now, in the name of being mean-spirited and politically incorrect, I link this article and add this amusing clip from Full Metal Jacket.

This would be classic

Sun, 17 May 2009 02:24:42 GMT

This wild and crazy guy, James Treacher came up with a great routine that Obama should do:

Transcript of Obama's WHCD Speech from an Alternate Universe Where He's Capable of Making Fun of Himself and Not Just Taking Thinly Veiled Shots at His Detractors

obamaWHCD.PNGTHE PRESIDENT: Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Good evening. It's good to be here. It's been... [checks watch] ...wow, over 3 hours since I last gave a speech on TV. Starting to go through withdrawal.

Great to see everybody here tonight. We've got Joe Biden here. Sheriff Joe. Just look at him. Smiling and laughing like he has any idea what's going on. There ya go, Plugs, flash those choppers. You paid enough for 'em. Folks, I hereby declare everything from Joe's neck up a man-caused disaster.

I kid because I love. Joe's a good man, good family man. Lovely daughter. You know, Ashley was planning to take the Amtrak down here tonight, but she got distracted at the station by all those huge rails.

But hey, who am I to talk about family problems? I'd read you the list of all my half-brothers, but it's longer than the stimulus bill.

You guys heard about my half-brother Samson, right? Yeah, when he was heading over here for my inauguration, he ran into a... well, a bit of a problem in England. Got kicked out. Turns out they'd already met their weekly quota on child molesters. Oops!

Another big difference between George Bush and me: His brother used to run a state, and my brother was run out of a country.

And don't even get me started on my Auntie Zeituni. I'm the first president to deal with so much hassle from an alien since Independence Day.

Speaking of the news, interesting item today: A Saudi judge has said it's okay to slap your wife if she spends too much. [mock-dramatic pause, leans into the mic] And you still wanna know why I bow to them?

Boy oh boy, I'm in for it now. Should I look? I'm gonna look. [looks over at Michelle] Oof. Yeah, I know. I know. You gotta believe I love you, baby, but next time could you maybe wear the four-hundred-dollar shoes to the homeless shelter? You're killin' me out there. [to audience] Oh, man, that was not a good look. I am not looking forward to the ride home.

Well, it beats making her laugh. Every time she slaps the table, they have to bring out a new table.

Anyhoo. Look at all these lovely people here tonight. Helen Thomas. I know you're out there, hot thing. Stand up, stand up. There she is. Now, I've got a little surprise for you, Helen. A lot of people have taken to calling tonight's event the "Nerd Prom." And in that spirit, I'd like to announce... Helen Thomas is Queen of the Prom! Give her a big hand, folks.

Quick, Helen, look up! Just kidding.

Andrew Sullivan, there he is. And Todd Palin, good to have you here. You know, I heard these two had a little altercation earlier. I'm a little unclear on the details, but apparently it ended with Andy getting dragged away, screaming "Who's the real mother???"

Sorry about all that stuff during the election, Todd. You know how Axelrod can get. He's got all his little nerds typing away on their computers, e-mailing all that stuff to, heh... to respected journalists like... [chuckles] ...like Sullivan there. [laughs] And Kos! [audience laughs along for one solid minute]

Ah, heh, whew. And thank goodness for Tina Fey, huh? I cannot wait to raise her taxes. She'll be all like... [mimes holding tax statement at arm's length, gasping in astonishment] "Wait, what? I thought we was tight, yo!"

Meghan McCain. What a doll. Isn't she adorable, folks? Glad to see she fixed herself back up. See, earlier she was standing between Carville and Axelrod, and the glare from their scalps was melting her makeup. Anyway, I can't wait to not read your book, honey. How to Lose Friends and Influence Nobody.

But let's get back to me. I'm the reason you're all here tonight. Or anywhere, any night.

Hey, have you seen that new Star Trek movie? Terrific, terrific stuff. A Star Trek for our times. I've even read some reviews saying I'd make a good starship captain. Yeah. Can't you just see it? Right after I lay off 8.9% of the crew and blame it on the previous captain, I go around the galaxy apologizing to the Klingons. And the Romulans. And the Cardassians. And the Ferengi. And the Tribbles...

I wouldn't have Air Force One, though. Or as I like to call it, Air Force 9/11. We really put a good scare into those New Yorkers, huh? Gotta keep 'em on their toes. They'll get over it, though. I mean, what are they gonna do, not vote for me? [biggest laugh of evening]

Yeah, all kinds of people are kicking themselves for voting for me. Any Chrysler execs in the audience tonight? Wave your top hats and monocles. Just kidding, they're all in their panic rooms. If they want to figure out what the hell happened, I hope they stocked copies of The Communist Manifesto. It'll change your life! [grins]

Well, it's about time for me to clear the stage so Wanda Sykes can say things really loudly and wait for people to laugh. I hope she uses the Limbaugh jokes I sent her.

And that's my time, folks, you've been great. POTUS out!

Granted, this is from a right-wing source that is not Obama-friendly, but it is funny, and too many people lack the balls to poke fun at him.

Das Fail!! Herr Pope!!!

Fri, 15 May 2009 18:27:10 GMT

Der Pappen Ze Fuhrer von Benedikt has decided to condemn Israel for her security fence. I understand Herr Ratzinger has joined the bandwagon of the Al Aqsa Sympathy Brigade.

It sucks that Israel had to build a giant fence,but it sucks even more that certain people would rather kill Jews than improve their lives, and Bavarians born before 1930 should all have faced trial at Nuremberg guilty until proven innocent. John Paul II was a great man who helped atone for centuries of anti-Semitic brutality by my former faith. Now Benedict XVI wishes to restore it through a new vein of "anti-Zionism." Condemn the suicide bombers, idiots who declare solidarity with anything appearing downtrodden, especially those who create their own disenfranchisement to garner sympathy, because they understand how decadent, guilt-ridden, and soft the West is.

I am glad I am no longer a Catholic, or any form of Mithras-worshiping Christian, especially when the new Pope displays he may not have just gone through the motions in his Hitler Youth days.

http://www.shmuley.com/articles/details/rabbi_shmuley_rejects_popes_condemnation_of_israels_fence_should_have_conde/

Stay off the roads.....

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:35:06 GMT

I'll be driving in NYC, well Flushing anyway. I took my first driving lesson this morning which went well, though I have much to learn, but I feel I did well. I need to work on my turns, but I made a three-point u-turn and I drove through the beautiful neighborhood of Kew Garden Hills which had plenty of turns, stop signs, lights to train with. I never drove in NYC before, and unlike Al Pacino I won't drive a Ferrari in downtown Manhattan with my eyes closed, but I will take a driving lesson tomorrow afternoon from a different and cheaper company and see how they compare.

Guys, Dolls, and long-awaited follow up

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:01:09 GMT

Tuesday was a great day. I saw Guys and Dolls, and the musical was great. Of course, I love the outfits and the music without question. The acting was great and I got a few signatures. I am also a fan of Gilmore Girls so it was great to see Lauren Graham in person. Eventually being in New York City long enough will erode the novelty of seeing celebrities, like when I met Jackie Mason a few weeks ago. Also, actor Bradley Cooper (Will Trippin of Alias) was in the audience.

Now, on the other event, I interviewed with the NYC Teaching Fellows a month ago, and I was not admitted. I am glad they told me at least. Now on to look for other things to do.

License to Drive

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:19:05 GMT

Guess what I got in the mail. I now have my own driver's license. Scary world ain't it :) I will sign up for some classes as I've been out of practice for a bit.